Hey Homies,

LOL.

Fourth of July festivities are over and we are back home.  We went to the local beach and enjoyed some beautiful fireworks, a little football and each other.  It is chilly here in So Cal.  65  is not what we are used to for a summer temp in Chicago but it was a beautiful nonetheless.  Sasha joined us at the beach.  We were missing you Noah but I'm sure you were having a good time.

I was sitting there enjoying the fireworks and you guys.  I was watching you enjoy the fireworks.  Y'all are crazy lol; shooting the fireworks with your fingers and all. Nana you crack me up acting like on of the boys sometimes.  I'm glad you all had a good time.  Thank God daddy found Reigan's iPod huh E3?  That was nuts.  Playing football in the dark with an iPod in your pocket and then dropping it and digging thru the sand is rough.

Anyway, I started this letter today because I was sitting and thinking about my legacy that I'm going to leave for you all.  What do I want the world to remember me for?  What do you all what to be remembered for?  On he way home tonight Reign you told Brandi and I that you were going to be a pro football player, a rapper and then a pastor.  I thin it's dope that you see so many great things within yourself.  I want you to know that I believe in you.  I think you can be all of those things and more.  I am sure you all are fully capable of being whatever you'd like to be in life.

So what will I be remembered for?  If it is God's will it will be for my arts.  My writing, paintings, designs but more importantly for my love.  I do some behind closed doors talking to anyone who reaches out to me for advice on marriage, children and loss.  I'm by far no expert in any of the fields but I think that my experiences have allowed people to want to know how I still manage to smile despite all of the pain.  It's nothing but God that keeps me going.  A few years ago I started going to church regularly again and really emerging myself in the bible and God's word.  I found that every problem I have is answered in the bible in some way, shape or form.  So I turn to God.  

You dad is super positive way more than I am.  Whenever I'm feeling down or defeated he is there to lift me up and remind me of all of my many blessings and all of the greatness that lies within me.  I spend so much time being available to others that I don't have many people to turn to for myself.  But that's ok.  I find it hard to truly trust in people.  I've been burnt by fakes so many times.  If I can tell you one thing today it is to be careful of who you decide to call your friend.  Everybody that says they care about you doesn't.  Some of them are hoping you fail.  Others are hoping you do alright just not better than them.  Believe it or not some of the ones who tell you they love you won't even part their lips to support you or your efforts.  Wish them all well anyway.  God got you so they don't have to.  But you all be careful please.  Be safe.  Lead with love but don't be a fool for anyone or anything.  I've lost almost all of my friends over the years mostly because I realized at some point who was real and who wasn't.  Either way I still want to see each and every one of them succeed and blossom into greatness.  I believe that's what God wants me to feel for everyone.

I want you girls to know that life for you may appear to be a competition among other girls but you better know it's not.  You are already great and you don't ever have to prove that to anyone but yourself and God.  Anyone who doesn't see your light upon meeting you isn't right for you.  My mother used to tell me she didn't like certain people and she would say "Stay away from them baby they don't mean you any good."  I'd be so confused because she didn't know them how could she say that?  But she was always right.  So be sure to come around with your friends so your dad and I can know them and feel them out.  We only want you all to be happy and great.  The people you hang around are who you become.  Don't ever let someone else bring you down.  Your friends should be good people just like you.  

Life is too short for you to live it trying to please people who don't even car about you.  Work to be pleasing to God.  Be good.  Do good.  Lead with love and forgive everyone.  Now forgiveness doesn't mean let them keep walking over you it just means release whatever the pain is so you can grow through everything.  Don't allow anyone to have you walking around hurting because they didn't treat you like you deserved.  Don't put too much expectation onto others.  Everyone is human and as humans we are all going to make mistakes and hurt each other sometimes it won't even be on purpose.  Just be careful and keep and open mind and learn from everything.

Keep pushing.  Keep smiling.

Pray about everything.  Give all of your worries to God and keep fighting to be better every single day.  Know that even if you mess up today you can try again tomorrow if you're blessed to see another day.

I fall short of God's grace everyday but I get up the next day and I try it again.  Never give up!

I love you guys forever & always,

 Mommy

7/5/15 1am